Valuable Thoughts
Tuesday 18 March 2014
Sunday 17 February 2013
Life after rape
The World Ended
FLASH NEWS: World ended and everyone is dead.
Officials across the world confirm it every Day and officials in India are busy
confirming it every second.
“People often speak of hell, not wanting to go
there, avoiding it etc. I never had that problem because hell is a state of
mind. Look around you; rape, murder, wars, hatred, envy...my friend; you're
already there!!”
I am really surprised when people say that world
is going to end. The world really ended when humanity died. We are living in a
world which is already dead and rotten, values and ethics are decomposed to an
unrecovered state.
1. The
rape cases and crimes that we see every day in the news are the best evidence.
2. Parents
and family members of the victims are the witness.
3. cases
registered and the charge sheet filed against the accused are the death
certificates approving the death of the world (humanity)
Rape is one of India's most common crimes against
women and by the UN’s human-rights chief it
is defined as a “national problem”.
According to the National Crime Records
Bureau, 24,206 rape cases were registered in India in 2011, although experts
agree that the number of unreported cases is much higher.
Sources: Ministry of Home Affairs
Sources: Ministry of Home Affairs
You know I don’t think the issue here is about the rate of rape, or the conviction rate Instead I think the underlying issue is how society treats, reacts and perceive the victim. In some parts of the world like India, Pakistan, and the Middle East it is seen as if rape is victim’s fault and that they were somehow deserving. It is sickening to see a society that wants a developed nation, to have such medieval attitudes about the rights of half of our population (women)
In India rape is considered as the mistake of the victim and they are
isolated from the family. Sexual abuse and exploitation makes the life of the
victims more worse, hence they remained controlled, numb, in shock, which leads
to denial and disbelief.
When it comes to Indian movies it is always projected as rape is the
end of life and suicide is the only option available, because of media victims feel more harassed than
helped.
“I just want to sleep. A coma would be nice.
Or amnesia. Anything, just to get rid of this, these thoughts, whispers in my
mind. Did he rape my head, too?”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak
― Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak
“The last thing I want to know as is ‘The Girl Who Got
Raped’. The big turnaround you make in your head is from the victim to
survivor.”
“The desire to forget the past is a form of suicide. I have come to believe that many of us would sooner die than remove our mask and stand barefaced before the world – Richard Bode”
“The idea to rescue myself from the role of a victim. That I have a choice left. Though I can’t change what has happened I can choose how to react. And I don’t want to spend my rest of my life being bitter and locked up. “
> Life after rape
Physical anxiety, helplessness, persistent fear and depression, mood swings, vivid dreams, recurrent nightmares, insomnia, loss of appetite difficulty in doing every day task, staying numb or stunned, finding it difficult to deal within themselves, sudden emotional outburst, withdrawal from family and friends trying to spend alone, dropping out of schools high absenteeism at work.
Our Duty:
Rape is one of the worst violations a person
can suffer, and the scars can be everlasting — assure them telling “you can
reclaim your life, it is not the end.”
Survivors need a safe, confidential
environment to work through their fears. You
can help by providing the survivor with peace, support and time to recover
Try to inspire them and
motivate them by telling some true stories of people who did wonders even after
being raped, remind them about their goals and dreams in life and what they
want to achieve. These things may help them to recover quicker.It's very
hard to know what to say and what not to say because different people react differently.
Being a loved one, friend or a
family member make the victim understand that she is not alone and your door is always open and you're
always just a phone call away.
Few things what you can say
|
Things you should not say
|
"You are not
alone." "Come on its not your fault." "I'm so sorry this happened to you." "I am always with you." "Come out of it " "Would you like me to find a support group for you?" "I'm here if you want to talk." “I believe you” “ I am with you if you want to report it” |
"Were you drunk?" "What were you wearing?" "It's your fault." “you should not have been there” "Why aren't you getting over this faster?" "That wasn't rape." "You were leading him/her on." "You're overreacting. |
NOTE: All emotions are fair responses to a rape or sexual
assault hence try to control your emotions when you try to help them. Your
words and actions are very important in transforming the rape victim into a
survivor.
How painful it would have been for the victims
and their family members!!
Please never ever happen it again and
be ready to sacrifice your life to save a girl from being raped.
Thank you for spending your valuable time reading this article and I feel
this article made some sense.
Friday 1 February 2013
emotional intellegence
Emotional Intelligence
Just like everyone else I reached Bangalore with lot of
hopes and I am fortunate to find the B- school IMPERIAL COLLEGE OF BUSSINESS
STUDIES (ICBS). The concept that is lingering me ever since I reached Bangalore
is EMOTIONAL INTELLEGENCE. I found it to be very interesting, which gave me a
new feeling and solved many mysterious questions hither to left unanswered in
my mind. Emotional intelligence enables one to deal with any situation and make
most out of life.
The origin of my curiosity into this topic goes back to some
bad experience I had in my childhood. Our's is a small family that comprised my
mother, my father, my sister and me. Like every brother I used to fight with my
only sister for several reasons and always ended up with lot of counseling from
my parents. One day we had a family gathering I was depressed that I don’t a
new dress to wear when my father tried to explain me I suddenly shouted at him
with a fierce voice and I said “why do you always try to counsel me and keep
your daughter comfortable, why don’t you treat me like your son”, with that my
dad was upset and left the place in silence, my mother didn’t speak to me for
several days. Just like this I had face many situations in my life filled with emotions,
but I never had been able to master them but one incident that moved me the
most and deep routed in my mind.
I live in a small
town in Vijayawada we own a house in the middle of the city. Rent is the only
source of income for my family. As usual at the end of the month I went to
collect the rent from tenant’s rambabu and Sri Devi a beautiful couple with
three children, they told me that they are in financial crisis and requested to
weeks’ time to pay the rent or so I returned. To my surprise Sri Devi started
quarreling and it went on for hours and next day morning the house was full of
silence. Sri Devi hanged herself to death. These questions gave rise to lot of
questions in my mind. Only questions and questions without answers. I found the
answer almost after 8 years far away from home in Bangalore well it’s never too
late to learn emotional intelligence.
Many people don’t know about emotional intelligence. Some
people take it lightly. Those are the people who suffer most, as emotions get
better of them.
Emotional intelligence can be defined as.
“The ability to
understand, identify, assess and control the emotions of one self, of others
and groups”. Without emotional intelligence we lack self-awareness hence we
fail to understand our own feelings. To understand our self and others we have
to keep track of certain crucial emotions like
Anger, frustration, depression, anxiety, insecurity, and
uneasiness.
Our families help us to shape our attitudes about emotions,
our ability to identify emotions, our way of interpreting events and our ways
of expressing emotions. In families failure to understand each other’s emotions
are likely to have a long term consequences. Children raised by parents who
have problem in understanding each other’s emotions are likely to develop emotional
problems of their own. So in the above examples even though I shouted at my
father, his silence made me to realize that I am supposed to control my
emotions while communicating to elders. In other case the reason for the fight between rambabu and
Sri Devi is not the question of money but lack of understanding and control in
emotions. If they had had emotional intelligence their children would not have
been orphans.
The rise in divorce cases suggests that many people lack
emotional intelligence. Exposure or training on emotional intelligence will
help you encounter situations in life easily. E I helps you to resonate with so
many people in effectively. It helps to focus on behaviors of others as well as
you. That will help to improve relations in family and at work place.
Many people are
disconnected from their emotions due to negative childhood experience which
make them bottle up their feelings. Parents should spare some time of their
busy schedules to listen to their child’s emotions and also keep track of them
to help them learn emotional Intellegence
With simple examples and common langauge I tried to explain emotional intellegence.
hope u enjoyed the article and try to understand and cope with emotions in life, thank you for spending your valuble time in reading the article. please leave your comments and feedback about the article.
hope u enjoyed the article and try to understand and cope with emotions in life, thank you for spending your valuble time in reading the article. please leave your comments and feedback about the article.
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